After 10 years of not folding my underwear and just stuffing them in a drawer, today I folded them.
It may not seem like a big deal to you. Maybe you always folded your underwear. Maybe you never did. But I used to fold my underwear in a very precise fashion ever since I was a little kid and it wasn’t something I learned, as even my Mom used to find it amusing.
Was I OCD? Maybe a little. But for me, folding my underwear was like being in a meditative state. I found the repetitive pattern and movement relaxing. I enjoyed the peace and quiet of my mind as I folded them. I didn’t dwell on what happened yesterday. I didn’t worry about what would happen tomorrow. I just focused on what was right in front of me and enjoyed the moment.
So why did I stop folding my underwear 10 years ago and why is it such a big deal that I started up again?
10 years ago I had my first child and several major health issues in our family. That’s why I stopped. I just didn’t have time to fold my underwear anymore. You may think it’s an unimportant thing, but it signified a big change for me.
I had my first baby, trouble breastfeeding, dealing with my baby’s health issues (hip dysplasia), and went back to work full time within 3 months. Many Moms have a hard time transitioning back to work, but I especially was having a hard time as my precious 3 month old just had hip surgery to try and fix her hip dysplasia and was in a full body cast (spica cast) with only her little head and arms free to move. It’s a time in our lives that I hate to think about and I often try to forget about.
One day during all this craziness, I woke up with my arms and legs totally numb and ended up in the hospital hearing the ER doctor say “I’ve never in my entire career seen thyroid levels like yours. If you weren’t so young and healthy, you’d be in a coma by now based on your thyroid levels.” Yeah, that was scary.
I found out I had Hashimoto’s disease – an autoimmune disease that destroys your thyroid. If you know about thyroid levels, my TSH was over 1,500 which is such a high number that U.S. laboratories can’t even measure it above 1,500. Normal TSH levels should be around 1 to 3.
The ultimate betrayal. My body was attacking itself.
I was destroying me.
It took me years to come to grips with this, years to get the right dosage of thyroid medication and years for my daughter’s hip surgeries and body casts to get her hips to a “good enough” place so she can walk, run, dance and play like the other kids.
Then I had a second child, who luckily didn’t have hip dysplasia but was born with congenital vascular issues on her left hip, buttocks and leg making her left leg and foot smaller and shorter than her right. So, no surgeries as a baby for her, just expensive shoe lifts to try and even out her leg lengths, and possible surgeries if the length difference increases, which I don’t like to think about.
So the point is, with everything going on over the last 10 years with full time work, a growing family, and health issues, I haven’t had time to fold my underwear. I haven’t made quieting my mind a priority. I haven’t taken the time to enjoy the now.
But today is a new day.
Today, I quieted my mind.
Today, I enjoyed the moment.
Today, I folded my underwear.
And maybe it’s this time of year full of New Year’s Resolutions talk, or the renewal I feel in my heart, but during today’s quiet moment, I came up with some fun ideas and plans for this blog. Today I am committing publicly to posting more Living Green tips on here and sharing our journey to protect our health and our environment.
So join me on this journey, subscribe to my newsletter to get weekly green tips and news, and fold your underwear so you can enjoy a moment of peace and stillness in your mind today.
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